"Captain-Half-Face-Jack-McBastard-the-Giant-Pirate" : 097 Codename: Iceman

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Captain Breakwater: Shiny Boots eh Basatard? A little worried what your pirate chummies will do when they find out it was your...
Heinrich Von Bastard: That’s enough. Time to test out this puppy.
Captain Breakwater: Ah.... what in damnation is that contraption?
Heinrich Von Bastard: This, my good Captain, is the Orb of Jōraßiseiß, procured from a Norse demigod I decapitated. It’s for putting things in cold storage. Given what happened on my ship it may be a more prudent way to transport prisoners from now on.
Hope your wearing thermals, because this will freeze your tits off.
This, my friends, will revolutionise the ransom trade.
Harpooner Baxter: Quick, let’s get him to the tunnels.
Crewman: He looks pretty bust up. You sure he’s going to make it?
Harpooner Baxter: Better chance than you if you don’t pick up the weight at your end.
2nd Mate Affogato: How far can you take him before this melts?
The Sea Widow: Yeah, and he’s not much use to us dead.
Heinrich Von Bastard:Chillax, he’s perfectly preserved and indefinitely so. Only supernatural fire can melt that stuff.
So we send him back home as is, and after rounding up all the other little tommy officers and freezing them, have the Royal Navy send us a few ships full of booty, booze, and bitches if they want their boys in blue thawed out.
MEANWHILE...
Lieutenant: Bloody hell that was a swim.
Captain Witherspoon: Yes, I shall need a couple hours to catch my breath before we implement any plan.
Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Lieutenant Seawlaker: Hell is precisely what it is, Captain Witherspoon.
Captain Witherspoon:Is... is that you, young Seawalker? Where the hell did you spring from?
Lieutenant Seawlaker: Please refer to my last answer, Sir.
     
 
 
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