"Captain-Half-Face-Jack-McBastard-the-Giant-Pirate" : 066 Freeze Your Ass Off

Vargbrau Damage versus undead AD&D Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Second Edition Snow storm Monkey (magic) - outrageous coincidence (the one where they think they eat Pigsy) mountain snow
Heinrich Von Bastard: Alright, I’ve made my selection of men for this mission. I grabbed an Archer, a two-handed swordsman, a big guy with a club, and an axeman. So that’s piercing, slashing, bludgeoning, and hafted  damage all taken care of. We’re pretty much covered for everything.
Vigdis: Hmmm... Interesting approach. Where did you learn such tactics?
Heinrich Von Bastard: I was told it was counterproductive to reveal that particular hobby to women.
Vigdis: Oh, and you ARE NOT lugging this keg with us.
Heinrich Von Bastard: Of course not. ...I don’t want the bier to freeze.
Skógrbrún: Your cape doesn’t look very warm, what’s it made of?
Heinrich Von Bastard: Ship sail.
Skógrbrún: It eh... doesn’t look very w-
Heinrich Von Bastard: IT’S NOT!

Vigdis: I think we should take shelter in this cave and continue in the morning.
Þungr: Good. Dragging this dead, frozen, donkey is exhausting.
Heinrich Von Bastard: Ah, bring it in. It just got demoted from bellboy to dinner.
Þungr: And I’m guessing I just got demoted to “bellboy”.
Heinrich Von Bastard: But with that intuitiveness, you’ll make it to “concierge” in no time.
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