"Captain-Half-Face-Jack-McBastard-the-Giant-Pirate" : 044 Crimson Tide

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Doc. Bergman: Ah, Captain?
Captain Wormwood: Yes?
Doc. Bergman: You know how we dropped anchor about half hour ago?
Captain Wormwood:Yeah?
Doc. Bergman: Seems it’s come back up round the other side and killed Mr. Bailey.
Captain Wormwood: Eh? Want to try running that by me again?
Heinrich Von Bastard: Permission to come aboard.


Doc. Bergman: Umph!
Captain Wormwood: What in Satan’s crack?!?
Heinrich Von Bastard:Ooh, a pirate ship. Nice to... say, what’s with the arrows on everyone’s clothes.
Captain Wormwood: This was originally a convict ship bound for Australia.
Heinrich Von Bastard:You speak pretty posh for a convict.  
Captain Wormwood: I was a Midshipman, now Captain. Captain Wormwood; thanks to a touch of much needed mutiny.
Heinrich Von Bastard:Cool. Anyway, I could use a trip to dry land, if its not too much trouble. I rather fancy this frozen filly, and need to break the ice.
Captain Wormwood: Why do you need dry land? Won’t she just thaw out on the deck?
Heinrich Von Bastard:This is no regular ice. It won’t melt in the sun. This job requires hellfire; which I could bust out here, but then we’d be swimming home. Whoever froze her must have been some powerful ancient demigod or something.
Captain Wormwood: Then won’t thawing her out unleash the wrath of said demigod and have terrible consequences?
Heinrich Von Bastard: Mmmm... Probably, but it’s been a while since a I met a girl my own size, so I wont look a gift-Norse in the mouth.

Meanwhile, aboard the Eviscerator...

Captain Stable: Look at this magnificent view. What a way to dine.
Captain Witherspoon: Yes, this is the finest Captain’s table, Captain Stable, at which I’ve ever dined. What do you think, young Pipeblower.
Lieutenant Pipeblower: Well, Sir, yes, it’s quite breathtaking, but the red does make the ocean look a little apocalyptic.
Captain Witherspoon: Perhaps, but take in the wonders of creation in all its...
Red Triskull: Knock, knock. Anyone home?
Captain Witherspoon: Sweet mother of whoredom!!!

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