"Captain-Half-Face-Jack-McBastard-the-Giant-Pirate" : 034 Horse Rotovator

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Captain Breakwater: That was amazing back there, taking on that giant.

Lieutenant Seawalker: Yeah, I’ve seen anyone move like that, Sir.

Captain Breakwater: What’s more, you went at him with such bitter viciousness.

Captain Oarsum: Yes, well... it’s probably time I explained a few things... better get comfortable, this’ll take a bit.

Lieutenant Seawalker: What is it?

Captain Oarsum: Well, Lad, it’s not the first time I’ve met that giant. In fact that giant killed your father.

Lieutenant Seawalker: What?!? Why didn’t you tell me? ...Sir.

Captain Oarsum: I was sworn to secrecy about the whole affair, and for my part had conducted some undertakings so questionable, that I had to keep secret from even the military that swore me to secrecy. Your Father and I made an oath to bring down that giant, and when you father was killed I promised your mother I would avenge him. I was told in confidence by Wellington later that the giant had been dispatched. I did not expect to see him again so many years later.

You see, it all goes back to the war. Your father and I were sent on a mission, when we were young naval lieutenants, through Spain with the army. We we’re en route to military camp to drop some important documents to a Colonel when horse flew through the air over us and the soldier riding it told us to...

Soldier on Horse: FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

Captain Oarsum: Peering from a ledge we investigated the source of this flung horse...

What we saw was a vision of hell. A thirty foot tall giant in the uniform of a Captain of Napoleon’s army.

He was ploughing through the camp, flinging troops like mice and firing cannons like pistols, when he saw us.

Lieutenant Seawalker: Is that when he killed my Father?

No lad, calm down. This is story’s just getting started, so kindly shut up if you want to find out what happened to you Father... and how I got this.

Captain Breakwater: Pppppttttt

Lieutenant Seawalker: Galloping guineapigs!!!

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