"Captain-Half-Face-Jack-McBastard-the-Giant-Pirate" : 001 Reprise

From 'Birth of a Bastard'...
reprise captain half face jack mcbastard skull torn facade pirate pirates crate rum port sail ship sails ships hat cape hand deckhanf buccaneer pirate piraat  chef greenbeard beard crew night storm ye olde see dog standard beanie eyepatch  eye patch metal wood deck jolly roger shadow captain lieutenant hat water sea ocean challenge
Beanie Deckhand: Yar... a foul storm be upon us, and it be bearing something evil in its winds.
Eye Patch Deckhand: Ye say that every storm, shut up and mop.
Where the hell  did this thing come from?
Beanie Deckhand : It looks like giant bottles of Rum and or Port!
Captain Greenbeard:  Holy swigging Mackerel! Call the rest of the men.
Eye Patch Deckhand: Aye Aye Captain.
Captain Greenbeard: Men, I’ve gathered Ye here to show you that the Gods are smiling upon us! They’ve delivered us from sobriety with this gift.
Heinrich Von Bastard: Which one of you is the captain so that I may challenge him for this ship?
Captain Greenbeard: He is.
Chef: huh?
Heinrich Von Bastard: Thankyou little man. What’s your name?
Captain Greenbeard: Capta... er... Lieutenant Greenbeard, Sir.
Heinrich Von Bastard: I need to get back to the war.
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Er... which war be that then, Sir?
Heinrich Von Bastard: I need to get back to Napoleon.
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Oh, criminy...
Heinrich Von Bastard: What?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Well, Ye see sir, that particularrr war has been over fer some time...
Heinrich Von Bastard: How long?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Nearly twenty years now, Sir.
Heinrich Von Bastard: Who won?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: The English of course.
Heinrich Von Bastard: What do you mean “of course.”
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Er... oh... well everyone says it was a fluke
Heinrich Von Bastard: This is a pirate ship right?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Yar,... that it be.
Heinrich Von Bastard: Where are your black sails then?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: We only break ‘em out when attacking
Heinrich Von Bastard: Well, break em out now. I need some cothes.
Yes... Yes. Perfect. Well, almost. Greenbeard?
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Yes Sir?
Heinrich Von Bastard: I’m going to need some of your hair.
Lieutenant Greenbeard: Are... you going to do something freaky with it?
Heinrich Von Bastard: That skull needs some eyes.
blog comments powered by Disqus